Bari Braun.com

Celebrancy got its roots in Australia many many years ago. But in the US, it’s a fairly new movement; and due to its infancy, many people do not fully understand the wonderful services that a celebrant offers. Whenever I first speak to a new couple, I always explain to them how, as a Celebrant, I differ from wedding officiants. So what exactly is a Celebrant, and how do I differ from other wedding officiants??
First I’ve received specialized training in the theory and building blocks of good ceremony, as well as in ceremony writing and performance. Think of me as a “ceremony specialist”, with my training having been specifically focused on weddings.
It’s all about customization, customization, customization!!! Unlike wedding officiants who often “fill in the blanks” with “one-size-fit- all” ceremonies, my services offer personalization through interviewing, and sending an in-depth questionnaire to each couple. I listen closely to my clients’ personal stories, cultural, religious, family or ethnic traditions, and goals and beliefs. If necessary, I may follow up – with my clients’ permission – by interviewing other family members or friends. I make suggestions on readings, organization, poetry and music based on what I have learned about my couples. I then use this information to craft a ceremony – in collaboration with my client – that reflects exactly who they are and what they envision for their ceremony. My clients “own” the ceremony and, although I may bring their particular writing style and personality to its development and performance, every word of the ceremony will be approved by my client. I strive to be accurate with facts and pronunciations and I do not ad lib

I also provide unlimited consultation with my clients and am always accessible by phone and email. I research and brainstorm until my client is completely satisfied with the “plan.”

Rehearsal anyone?? As a Celebrant, I rehearse and encourage rehearsals. I don’t merely show up at a ceremony and read. It’s been my experience that the rehearsal provides each couple with a chance to prepare for a smooth ceremony and to calm nerves.

CUE SHEETS!!! While I’m not an event planner, I quite often take on some ceremony coordinating functions – such as creating a much-appreciated cue sheet for musicians, writing out processional instructions for a wedding, touching base with venue staff, photographers or videographers to highlight any special aspects of the ceremony or to troubleshoot any ceremony issues.

PROFESSIONALISM!!! Forgive me if I sound like I’m tooting my own horn, but I do consider myself to be a professional of the highest calliber. Why, you may ask?? I’m timely, I know the details of ceremony set-up, and I can handle last minute changes with style and grace. I perform the ceremony with warmth and sincerity while retaining a strong presence. I offer support, thanks and congratulations as appropriate and I’m available to honorees, family members and other participants, such as readers, to answer questions.

And last, but not least, I provide special extras such as creating a keepsake ceremony for my clients as a gift. I also offer the use of my own PA system for the ceremony because if I can’t be heard, then nothing else really matters.

Someone (very wise, I believe) once said that a great Celebrant is a bargain at $700, but a bad one is too expensive at $10. So what “bang do you get for your buck” by using a professional Celebrant?? A life time of wonderful memories. How’s that for an investment in your future??

Winter is typically a slower season for weddings, especially in this Northeast area where snowstorms could definitely put a damper on “getting to the venue on time.”

However, for those adventurous to weather any possible storm, winter can actually be a beautiful season to get married and there are many possibilities to create a warm and romantic ambiance inside while it’s frosty outside.  While snowflakes and pinecones are the typical winter wedding motifs, if you think outside the box, there are many other possibilities

Let’s start with colors. White and silver with crystal accents will most certainly add a touch of elegance to any ceremony. You can line the aisle with white glowing candles that sit in crystal candlesticks,  have a white velvet aisle runner trimmed with blue satin ribbons or tiny white satin roses, or you can decorate the alter with a crystal curtain backdrop for a beautiful setting .

For flowers, white hydrangeas or orchids make for a lovely winter bloom. And for some extra pizzaz, you can add a bit of sparkle to your bouquet by wrapping the stems in silver ribbon embellished with crystal.

For those brides not wearing a veil, consider sparkly silver hair ornaments with crystal. If you’re having a flower girl walk down the aisle, why not have her toss tiny cut out snowflakes rather than the typical flowers.

If you’re creative, the possibilities are endless to create a winter wonderland themed wedding ceremony.

I usually agree with the saying “the simpler, the nicer.” For those brides and grooms planning on an extremely small guest list and looking for a different location that the traditional wedding halls, here are some places you might want to check out in your local community (or not so local community).
For indoors, investigate the possibility of museum during off hours. Libraries quite often have private rooms that are quiet where a quickie ceremony can be performed. And then, there’s nothing wrong with getting married over dinner at a nice quiet, intimate restaurant. Observation decks in big building usually have an indoor space with great views.
For outdoor locations, public parks, college greenhouses or conservatories are all lovely when the weather is warm and the foliage is in full bloom. Skating rinks (either indoors or outdoors) can also be a great place for a ceremony.
Whatever the location, don’t loose sight of why you’re getting married. Long years after your wedding, it will be your love that forever unites you. So if you want a short ceremony without all the bells and whistles, be as creative as you want in picking the ceremony location that’s right for you.

Last weekend, I officiated at a wedding ceremony for such a nice couple. I was particularly excited about this one because the bride was from Australia – that’s where the Celebrancy movement all began. So when I initially met them, I didn’t have to go over in detail (as I usually do) what a Celebrant is. Being a native of Australia, the bride (as well as her family, who flew across the continent to attend) was quite familiar with the concept of a Celebrancy.

It was a chilly and drizzly evening, but inside it was all warmth and glow. The affair was held at the Reeves Reed Arboretum in Summit, NJ .The ambiance was my personal favorite – intimate, simple, but very elegant. The ceremony was held in a small cozy room with about 30 close friends and family. The couple wanted a simple ceremony – the usual vows, ring exchange, and 2 readings, but no rituals. Their love story, as all love stories goes, was particularly beautiful and touching.

The ceremony, started at 6PM on a Friday night. I had to drive south on the Garden State Parkway and knew that Friday night traffic would not be good. In normal times, it would have taken me about 45 driving minutes. So I left at 4:00PM to arrive at 5:30 (I thought that would be plenty of time). Turns out, the traffic was bumper to bumper and crawling all the way. I didn’t arrive at 5:30, but just got there at 5:55!! Boy, was I stressed out that I’d be late. But it went off without a hitch and everyone enjoyed. Even though it was close family and friends, the guests did learn many things about the bride and groom through my love story.
Congratulations, Rebecca and Tom. You’re a truly lovely couple and I wish you many many years of marital bliss.

Obtaining your Marriage/Civil Union License in New Jersey is a relatively easy process. I always go over in detail how to go about this when I meet with couples for the first time; although it’s easy, it can reduce any anxiety you may have over where to go, what to bring, you get the idea; and for those of you I haven’t met – you can click on the link on my website – www.baribraun.com under my resource tab “NJ Marriage License Information”. But for those of you who don’t fall into either category, here’s some general information to get you going:
Where to apply for a marriage or civil union license –
Go to the registrar in the NJ municipality in which either of you resides (for a list of registrars, click on the link on my website under the resource tab : “NJ List of Local Registrars.”) If neither of you is a resident of NJ, then go to the County Clerk’s office where the ceremony will be performed.

When you should apply-
There is a 72 hour waiting period from the time when the application is filed with the Local Registrar to when the license is issued. Once the license is issued, it is only valid for 30 days, so you must go sometime within 30 days prior to your wedding date.

Who Should go
The application must be completed by both parties before the license will be issued so the two of you should go together along with one witness who must be at least 18 years old.

What to Bring when you apply-
Each applicant must bring valid ID that gives the name, age, date of birth, and proof of residency. It should be an ID issued by a government agency such as a certified copy of a birth certificate, driver’s license, passport, military id, etc. Also, bring your social security card or social security number.

If you have been married before, you must show a certified copy of divorce, death, or annulment.

You also need to bring the name and mailing address of the person performing the marriage

Finally, you’ll need to fill in your parent’s names, mothers’ maiden names, and places of their birth.

And , of course, the Obvious –
Don’t forget to bring your license on your wedding day. Your officiant and two witnesses (over 18 years of age) must sign the license. The Bride and Groom do not sign the license. Your officiant will then file it with the municipality in which the ceremony was performed. I suggest waiting at least two weeks after the wedding, at which time you can order certified copies of the marriage or civil union from the local Registrar where the ceremony took place or from the State Bureau of Vial Statistics and Registration.

I recently performend a wedding in Jersey City just overlooking the Hudson for a fabulous couple. They were one of the nicest couples you could every meet and very gracious. They actually met on the intenet which I find more and more from my couples is the way many have met their future spouces. The weather was great, not a cloud in the sky, and the location was outside at the exact place where the groom proposed. It was a small intimate affair and was truly from the heart.
There wasn’t a bridal party, just two jr jr bridesmaids (about 8 – 10 years old) who were gorgeous – they had long blonde hair, blue eyes, and were so very cute. For kids of their ages, they stood the test of time, standing every so still during the entire ceremony.
Vesna and Gale, if you read this, I want to thank you for placing your trust in me and for being so very nice. It was an honor for me to officiate and I wish you nothing but good fortune and happiness in your life together.
By the way, Jersey City is a great place for ethnic restaurants as I’m learning from doing many ceremonies there. After the ceremony, my daughter (I sometimes bring her along as the photographer when she’s not at college) and I out went out to a Vietnamese restaurant. It was yummy!!

I recently performed a wedding ceremony at the Brooklyn Botanic Gardens. It was where the couple first met and had their first date so the Gardens had special meaning for them.

The location was visually breathtaking and you couldn’t have asked for more perfect weather for an outdoor garden themed wedding. It wasn’t too hot or cold and not a cloud in the sky (which has been quite uncommon here in the NY/NJ area as we’ve been drenched in rains for weeks on end).

It was an intimate setting with about 40 close friends and family and all around one of the most lovely ceremonies I’ve ever performed. Here’s to the happy married couple!!!

When I first talk to a prospective client either on the phone or in person, I feel it’s important to explain to the couple (among many other things) exactly what my services encompass and, as a Celebrant, what sets me apart from other wedding officiants. So here’s my advice on questions to ask and what to look for when choosing your wedding officiant.

First, are some obvious questions
– is the officiant available on your scheduled wedding date and if you want a rehearsal, is the officiant available for the rehearsal
–will the officiant travel to your event location
– how much experience does the officiant have with the type of ceremony you are looking for
–does the officiant offer an initial consultation at no charge, or is there a fee for their time
–besides the charge for writing/ presiding over the ceremony, are there any additional fees for travel, filing the required legal paperwork, etc.
–will the officiant bring sample ceremonies to the initial consultation
–does the officiant provide a back-up in the event of an emergency, and if so, whom??
–how do you “book” the officiant – is a deposit and a signed contract required.
–will you be able to write your own vows, or use your own readings, music or rituals
–how much can you be involved with planning the ceremony rituals, reading the ceremony draft, and editing if you feel necessary

If possible, I think it’s always best to meet the officiant. There’s no substitute for a meeting in the flesh. Ask the officiant to bring his/her credentials to the meeting so you’ll know if they are legal to perform marriages.

After the consultation, ask yourself the following:
–did you feel comfortable with the person,
–did they have a nice manner and speaking voice
–did they listen to your needs and respond appropriately.

In summary, is this someone with whom you would like to work with, someone you feel confident would create a ceremony that would represent you as a couple on your wedding day? In the end, you’ll want to choose someone who will conduct your ceremony in a way that’s comfortable to you, and your partner or family.

You literally never know what the next hour could bring. I was in my front yard last Saturday morning just about done planting a hydrangea bush (I love those big gorgeous flowers), when my daughter brought out my ringing cell phone. As I took off one of my gardening gloves to answer the phone, it was a hysterical bride. Her wedding party and approximately 20 guests were at a park in Bergen County waiting for the officiant who never showed; it was now nearly an hour after the ceremony was to begin.

Somone had given her my contact information and she wanted to know if I could come to the rescue and marry them. As you can imagine, it wasn’t the best of times for me – being knee deep in dirt, no makeup, and my limp hair hanging. But they were really in a bind. Wanting to help them out, I said I would try my best to accommodate them, but one thing was for sure – - I told them I had to take a shower and change clothes and if they could change locations to a park closer to where I live to save time and give me half an hour, I’d be there. Of course, I did ask if they had their marriage license (which they did).

I’ve never moved so fast – in the shower, blow dry my hair, grab an outfit, and sorry – no time for makeup ( I was hoping my dazzling personality would hide any imperfections!!). I grabbed a “short and sweet” ceremony I did a while ago, wrote the bride and groom’s name on a “sticky” so I could replace the previous names with the new bride and groom, grabbed my daughter to come along for pictures, and off I went!!!

I hadn’t been Van Saun Park in years, since my kids were little so I really didn’t know where we should go for the ceremony. We initially met at the “pony rides” and after meeting the bride, groom, and the rest of the clan, we signed the marriage certificate and then proceeded to get in our cars where I would lead the way to find a more appropriate ceremony location than hearing little kids screeches on ponies. Driving only 30 seconds up the road, I noticed a pretty location on the left and drove into a parking lot on the other side of the road. Well, it turned out we couldn’t have had a nicer location if it was planned. There was a cobble road (that we used for the processional) leading up to a beautiful arch of gorgeous plants and flowers. It was secluded, beautiful, and just perfect!

Not being one to toot my own horn, I’m proud to say that the ceremony went off without a hitch as if it had been planned for months. The bride and groom and the parents were ecstatic, telling me I saved the day. It was a great feeling helping someone in need and knowing that they were so pleased with the results. I do hope though that I’m not setting a trend. I do like the luxury of thinking about what I want to wear with what accessories, putting on make-up, and being able to rehearse pronouncing hard sounding names. Well as they say, “you can’t have your wedding cake and eat it.”

Couples often ask me if it’s customary to have children in the ceremony and what’s too young to go down the aisle. Being a Celebrant, I believe there are no right or wrong answers. Rather, whatever brings you and the children involved a sense of belonging and happiness.
Many couples today come to their second marriages with children of their own. If that’s the case, it’s very important that they be recognized or participate in some aspect of the ceremony. Involving the children helps them transition to the new relationship they are now a part of.
Depending on their age and desire to participate, you can either have them hear their names mentioned in the ceremony or take an active role. Mentioning their names assures that they are an important part of the occasion and gives them a special status which other guests do not have.
For younger children, usually a simple task of holding the rings or bouquet is enough to accomplish a feeling of participation. For teenagers, it can be as simple as standing up with the couple, participating in group vows, or lighting a unity candle.
I always recommend that couples be sensitive to the children’s feelings. If a child is reluctant to be involved, respect their point of view and never force it. Remind them that their presence is very important to you both and that will be enough if that is all they want to do. But do remember to get a picture of all of you on this special day as it’s the beginning of a new family.
Being a mother of three young adults, I know that kids are very creative. Listen to their suggestions and you may be surprised at their ideas. And finally, remember to give each child a wedding gift to thank them for their love, support, and participation.